For Girls and Women with Gender Dysphoria, Solidarity from a Surprising Source

By Mel Day

Pablo Heimplatz - the Cardrona Bra Fence, NZ. via Unsplash

As a teacher and a professional in sociology and counseling, I underwent life-altering treatment for aggressive breast cancer from 2018 to 2020. My experience with cancer care has striking similarities to the medical interventions faced by women and girls identifying as trans.

I started 'Staying You' as a breast cancer survivor, having endured the pain and scars of medical intervention due to the irreversible damage to my own body, to inform girls about the dangers of medicalizing their identities.

My Story

When I went through treatment for my stage 3 invasive breast cancer, I lost both breasts to a double mastectomy and was placed on a grueling medical pathway. The pain of losing my breasts was worse than childbirth. I woke up from surgery struggling to breathe, feeling like I had been hit by a truck. I could not feed myself, dress myself, or even walk without difficulty. I carried drains for three weeks post-surgery to remove the liquid pooling in my chest and underwent daily physiotherapy exercises to regain arm and shoulder movement. My chest has never looked or felt the same, and I have needed three painful reconstructive surgeries to correct the cosmetic complications caused by my double mastectomy.

The removal of my breasts has led to lifelong physical issues. My type of breast cancer, ER positive, means that my body’s natural estrogen could cause the cancer to return. To prevent this, I have had to halt my body’s estrogen production through Tamoxifen (a hormone blocker), a radical hysterectomy, and bilateral oophorectomy (removal of my uterus and both ovaries).

This life-saving approach has left me with irreversible physical damage. The side effects include breathing problems, bone density loss, stage 4 osteoporosis, chest pain, skin rashes, early onset menopause, hot flashes, sterility, stomach pains, nerve pain, numbness, restricted arm movement, loss of interest in intimacy, and vaginal atrophy.

Discovering that individuals seeking support for gender dysphoria often undergo similar invasive medical interventions to stage 3 breast cancer patients, I felt compelled to create a forum to empower those struggling with their identity to make informed choices and share their experiences.

Supportive Sisterhood

“Staying You” supports women—adult human females—to celebrate the awesomeness of being a girl, a biological female, a warrior, a witch, a queen, a mother, and a daughter. We revel in the incredible things that being a woman allows us to achieve. It is about understanding and empowering girls and women who struggle with their identity to embrace themselves just as they are. We hold stakeholders accountable and seek the truth behind the sciences.

My heart breaks for the many girls who no longer want to be girls and seek to change their gender identity. I do not want anyone to experience the pain of hormone blockers, a double mastectomy, and hysterectomy. These procedures often do not turn out the way people hope, leaving lifelong scars. “Staying You” is a safe place for people to share their transitioning struggles and detransitioning stories, a place where parents can voice their worries and concerns and openly discuss the distress this movement is causing in their lives and families.

"I am beyond shocked, so sad, and deeply upset that so few organizations are helping girls understand the consequences of medicalizing their identities. Instead, they should be supporting them to love themselves for all that they are in the perfectly healthy body they were born in." - Mel Day, 2023.

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