I Lost a Job I Loved Because I Cried About Pride in the Staffroom
By an Anonymous Parent
Over the course of a year or so, while watching my trans-identified child's mental health plummet, flags and posters were going up for every "trans day of..." and Pride event, and I felt triggered by each one. The problem is that the posters and flags were never taken down after the events or days—they were added to until walls and desks were completely festooned. After a particularly harrowing weekend at home, and on a day when our country's government-funded television station presented a highly publicised "trans kids" story that claimed to be balanced (but was anything but), my manager asked me how I was doing.
I burst into tears and told my manager about what was happening at home—that my child was going through a complete mental breakdown and that I was her only support. I explained how my child felt trapped in a body she'd never been allowed the space to reconcile with, how she didn't want to be a medical patient for life but saw no other option, and how much terror this caused her. I relived trauma as I talked about the medical and mental health professionals who had led my kid to fixate on gender and medicalisation instead of addressing autism, trauma and complex mental health issues, and of their triangulation in consulting rooms, where they pitted my child against me and caused untold, unnecessary damage to our family. I described the flashbacks I have every time I see a progress flag, or the colours pink and blue... to my child screaming "WHY DIDN'T THEY HELP ME?!" when she realised that her happy childhood had been flipped to a nightmare of self-loathing, when the school wellbeing team, psychologists and doctors had explained and affirmed "trans" instead of helping her with developmental distress at puberty. I spoke of the state my child was in—lurching between catatonic and uncontrollably agitated states, with the panic of not being able to be in her body, or "seen" as a woman, and seeing no way out except medicalisation. I explained that these flags and posters also trigger my painfully gender-dysphoric child when she sees them. I cried a lot.
My manager also cried. As a mother herself, she understood. When she spoke to upper management about how staff "should be made to feel psychologically safe at work", I tried to throw water on the flames and say "I'll be ok". This worked for a few weeks but eventually, I was told how incredibly "valued" I am at work and asked to take extended time off. In my profession, and as a casual employee, this is a simple way for upper management to let me go quietly rather than look at the complexities of what they are supporting and promoting in the workplace. I have no union, but even if I did, the exceptionalism of gender in the conversation would mean that I would still be pushed out. The organisation was completely entwined with supporting an LGBTQI+ youth charity organisation by then.
I have moved to a new workplace, and despite a major pay cut, I was happy to see that they have a "no politics" policy. There were no flags or posters promoting queer culture to young people and I felt safe to leave home at home and simply do my job... until a few weeks ago when a local LGBTQI+ festival was promoted throughout the building with progress flags, posters and fliers. My heart dropped to the floor and my stomach lurched and all those old feelings came back.Â
Most of the flags were taken down a few weeks later but some of the posters remain, and I wonder what else might be added to them as Pride month (or whatever "trans day of...") comes around. Here we go again. There's no escape from Pride, it seems.
Genspect publishes a variety of authors with different perspectives. Any opinions expressed in this article are the author’s and do not necessarily reflect Genspect’s official position.
It is time for all rainbow/gender flags to be removed from schools and workplaces as they no longer serve the purpose they once had. They represent ideology gone too far and extreme, pain, trauma and division.
THIS. This is exactly why I've decided to anonymize my profile.. how sad is it that we can't be safe sharing our own experiences because it flies in the face of the Trans-cult. I've debated writing, and instead have supported others like yourself who've shared. Thank you. Thank you. You are not alone.