Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I wish your words and wisdom could reach my daughter. She has rejected her feminine side and me as her mother. She has no balance and demands her beliefs on me with a fist down my throat. She will never be able to hear what I say, so I gave up. If I could get your book to her...maybe she could hear your message?
My heart aches as I hear your description of the situation with your daughter, as I have a distantly similar situation. About twenty years after my transition from male to female, one of my children came out as transgender. After having no contact for the twenty years before that, we had a beautiful relationship for a short time as we had being transgender in common. However once it became clear that I was not a trans activist, and especially when it started to look like I might detransition, that relationship froze over like ice, and I don’t know that it will ever thaw.
Will my book help? My book requires an open mind. There is an incredible journey to be taken in the pages, but it is a journey for those willing to consider new ways of thinking. It is not likely to be well received by someone who is determined and defiant. I know how my trans child feels about it and it’s not good, as she is quite made up in her thinking as so many are.
If you would like to chat more, feel free to email me at the address at the bottom of the article.
All the best with your most challenging situation,
Thank you for responding. She has made it clear that she only intends to go deeper and deeper. She is hardcore and there is no room for anything else. For fleating seconds I wonder if she might ever detransition or even be kind again and then I realize the likelihood is so dim that it does not behoove me to think about it. I don't think there is any hope for anything other than me creating a life on my own. Thank you though.
It’s heartbreaking, but I hear you. When my daughter found out I wasn’t going to push the trans ideology, she told me that there was nothing left of our relationship and that whatever I did with the rest of my life, she didn’t want to know. I love her to the end of the earth, but I am honoring her wishes, and I stay out of her life. She has cut me off, so I have moved on. That’s a lot like what you are describing. Your arms will be wide open for your daughter if she ever warms up towards you. But in the meantime (if there is a meantime), she’s going to do what she’s insistent on, and you owe it to yourself to find joy in your life regardless of how she chooses to live hers. As hard as it is to accept, I think you are seeing your situation very clearly. Move forward with building a beautiful life for you. 🙂
Jonathan, I am wondering if you will be at the Genspect conference in Albuquerque. I am the mother of a son who is so much like you. I will be at the conference. I would like to talk to you for a few minutes.
I haven’t yet registered for the conference, though I do plan to attend. I would be happy to visit with you. It’s important to me to offer support whenever I can to those who are struggling with this—whether that be the individual themselves, or those who love them. I wish I could take what I now understand and go back and have a conversation with my earlier self, and hopefully prevent the mountain of heartache I caused. So I’m happy to visit with you about your son. If you would like to chat with me in the meantime, feel free to email me at the address at the end of the article.
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I wish your words and wisdom could reach my daughter. She has rejected her feminine side and me as her mother. She has no balance and demands her beliefs on me with a fist down my throat. She will never be able to hear what I say, so I gave up. If I could get your book to her...maybe she could hear your message?
Hi,
My heart aches as I hear your description of the situation with your daughter, as I have a distantly similar situation. About twenty years after my transition from male to female, one of my children came out as transgender. After having no contact for the twenty years before that, we had a beautiful relationship for a short time as we had being transgender in common. However once it became clear that I was not a trans activist, and especially when it started to look like I might detransition, that relationship froze over like ice, and I don’t know that it will ever thaw.
Will my book help? My book requires an open mind. There is an incredible journey to be taken in the pages, but it is a journey for those willing to consider new ways of thinking. It is not likely to be well received by someone who is determined and defiant. I know how my trans child feels about it and it’s not good, as she is quite made up in her thinking as so many are.
If you would like to chat more, feel free to email me at the address at the bottom of the article.
All the best with your most challenging situation,
Jonathan
Thank you for responding. She has made it clear that she only intends to go deeper and deeper. She is hardcore and there is no room for anything else. For fleating seconds I wonder if she might ever detransition or even be kind again and then I realize the likelihood is so dim that it does not behoove me to think about it. I don't think there is any hope for anything other than me creating a life on my own. Thank you though.
It’s heartbreaking, but I hear you. When my daughter found out I wasn’t going to push the trans ideology, she told me that there was nothing left of our relationship and that whatever I did with the rest of my life, she didn’t want to know. I love her to the end of the earth, but I am honoring her wishes, and I stay out of her life. She has cut me off, so I have moved on. That’s a lot like what you are describing. Your arms will be wide open for your daughter if she ever warms up towards you. But in the meantime (if there is a meantime), she’s going to do what she’s insistent on, and you owe it to yourself to find joy in your life regardless of how she chooses to live hers. As hard as it is to accept, I think you are seeing your situation very clearly. Move forward with building a beautiful life for you. 🙂
Thank you.
Jonathan, I am wondering if you will be at the Genspect conference in Albuquerque. I am the mother of a son who is so much like you. I will be at the conference. I would like to talk to you for a few minutes.
Hi,
I haven’t yet registered for the conference, though I do plan to attend. I would be happy to visit with you. It’s important to me to offer support whenever I can to those who are struggling with this—whether that be the individual themselves, or those who love them. I wish I could take what I now understand and go back and have a conversation with my earlier self, and hopefully prevent the mountain of heartache I caused. So I’m happy to visit with you about your son. If you would like to chat with me in the meantime, feel free to email me at the address at the end of the article.
All the best,
Jonathan