I was on this path as well--with my passion for attachment parenting, gentle discipline and unschooling, which started over 20 years ago. I used to think that being kind was more important than being smart, and that no one is being hurt by us affirming a few mentally unwell, struggling men in their delusions that they were women. My son's deciding that he was "really a girl" when he was a teen woke me up and shook me to my core. I have reevaluated most of my beliefs, and I'm a different person now. However, it was the foundation of attachment parenting, gentle discipline and unschooling (when not done in an extremist, ideological way, as it is often misrepresented by those who don't know what they are talking about) that helped our family to pull our son out of this cult.
Thanks to another disease affecting one of my children, I was forced to ABSOLUTELY take on attachment parenting, to get my child out of the dreadful medical spiral she was on. Thank goodness these skills then helped me parent differently and be able to do as you've done, parent another child gently out of the TRA spiral.
The basics: (1) trans women are trans women (2) Forget TV, especially (blccch! Nickelodeon) get DVDS of films or of books you loved. My kids watched The Scrambled States of America when I wasn't reading it to them. (3) DVDS are only for when you can't keep your eyes open. Read Dr. Seuss (all of it!) Read Ferdinand. Goodnight, Moon. Madeleine. Lyle, Lyle Crocodile. Frog and Toad. Read, read, read and here are more suggestions: https://melissaknox.substack.com/
I am long past my child rearing years but whenever I have the opportunity to give a new mother, or a young child, a book I ALWAYS go back to the books I read to my children, which were the same books my mother read to me. There is very little worthwhile in the new wave of children's books, imo.
Me, too. I’ve noticed something Kathleen Stock pointed out in an interesting post (can’t find right now, alas) that children’s books used to be (and should be!) about the experience of being a child—like Little Sal losing but finding Mom, for instance. Only now so many are lessons, propaganda. Badly written, too—and very limited in vocabulary. I’ll stick with stuff like wonderful Curious George (who some fool has accused of being about the slave trade!) —anything but, especially when you know the Reys’ biography.
Thank you for this article. I don’t know how to get my sweet teen daughters (ages 13 and just-turned 17) off social media even though I know it’s bad for their developing brains and thoughts/feelings.
As someone who has removed herself from this cult what suggestions do you have for helping other adults to change their way of thinking ? My now estranged daughter transitioned her daughter at age six and according to my daughter I am the only one who does not affirm “him”
We're sorry to hear about this. Unfortunately, having spoken to the author and having read about how people get into and out of cult-like ideologies, it appears that most people do so on their own, and there is very little one can say or do from the outside. What you can do is remain psychologically healthy yourself. We'd recommend perhaps listening to a recent episode of Gender: A wider Lens in which Stella and Sacha spoke to Dr Joshua Coleman about family estrangement: https://substack.com/home/post/p-145051305?r=3ot80e&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
What a thoroughly interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing.
This was fascinating and shows how it's very easy do be drawn into the rabbit holes that exist on social media. A cautionary tale.
I was on this path as well--with my passion for attachment parenting, gentle discipline and unschooling, which started over 20 years ago. I used to think that being kind was more important than being smart, and that no one is being hurt by us affirming a few mentally unwell, struggling men in their delusions that they were women. My son's deciding that he was "really a girl" when he was a teen woke me up and shook me to my core. I have reevaluated most of my beliefs, and I'm a different person now. However, it was the foundation of attachment parenting, gentle discipline and unschooling (when not done in an extremist, ideological way, as it is often misrepresented by those who don't know what they are talking about) that helped our family to pull our son out of this cult.
Thanks to another disease affecting one of my children, I was forced to ABSOLUTELY take on attachment parenting, to get my child out of the dreadful medical spiral she was on. Thank goodness these skills then helped me parent differently and be able to do as you've done, parent another child gently out of the TRA spiral.
I'm so happy to hear your child is no longer in this cult! Attachment Parenting gets really bad rep, sadly.
The basics: (1) trans women are trans women (2) Forget TV, especially (blccch! Nickelodeon) get DVDS of films or of books you loved. My kids watched The Scrambled States of America when I wasn't reading it to them. (3) DVDS are only for when you can't keep your eyes open. Read Dr. Seuss (all of it!) Read Ferdinand. Goodnight, Moon. Madeleine. Lyle, Lyle Crocodile. Frog and Toad. Read, read, read and here are more suggestions: https://melissaknox.substack.com/
I am long past my child rearing years but whenever I have the opportunity to give a new mother, or a young child, a book I ALWAYS go back to the books I read to my children, which were the same books my mother read to me. There is very little worthwhile in the new wave of children's books, imo.
Me, too. I’ve noticed something Kathleen Stock pointed out in an interesting post (can’t find right now, alas) that children’s books used to be (and should be!) about the experience of being a child—like Little Sal losing but finding Mom, for instance. Only now so many are lessons, propaganda. Badly written, too—and very limited in vocabulary. I’ll stick with stuff like wonderful Curious George (who some fool has accused of being about the slave trade!) —anything but, especially when you know the Reys’ biography.
Thank you for this article. I don’t know how to get my sweet teen daughters (ages 13 and just-turned 17) off social media even though I know it’s bad for their developing brains and thoughts/feelings.
Give them set hours and have them turn their phones in each night.
"believing that the ideology gives us the truth"
This is a critical piece of critical thinking my friend!
As someone who has removed herself from this cult what suggestions do you have for helping other adults to change their way of thinking ? My now estranged daughter transitioned her daughter at age six and according to my daughter I am the only one who does not affirm “him”
We're sorry to hear about this. Unfortunately, having spoken to the author and having read about how people get into and out of cult-like ideologies, it appears that most people do so on their own, and there is very little one can say or do from the outside. What you can do is remain psychologically healthy yourself. We'd recommend perhaps listening to a recent episode of Gender: A wider Lens in which Stella and Sacha spoke to Dr Joshua Coleman about family estrangement: https://substack.com/home/post/p-145051305?r=3ot80e&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web