Queer Lies told to My Daughter: A Parent’s Agony, and Fury

by an Anonymous Parent

Photo by Delia Giandeini from Unsplash

They have lied to my daughter. By ‘They’ I mean queer gender theorists such as Judith Butler. 

‘They’ (and I spit the word out) tell my daughter, your gender is the real ground of your identity, and your sex is adaptable to whatever gender you internally feel that you really have. So, if you have an inner gender feeling that you are a man, but your actual body is female, then your body is wrong, and you should change the way your body ‘presents’ because you are a transman. 

Everything ‘They’ tell my daughter is unadulterated lies. They tell her demonstrably false, misogynist, and damaging lies that encourage her to hate her female body, and to act on this hatred by hormonally and surgically mutilating her bodily and naturally sexed reality. They tell her that she should do whatever she wants to do to take on the appearance and ‘performance’ of a male body. But whatever hormones she takes, whatever sex mutilating and cosmetically reconstructive surgery she undergoes, the unalterable reality is, she will never be male. And why would she want to appear to be of the male sex if her sex really isn’t integral with her gender identity? In practice sex and gender identity are integral for trans sex mutilators, however much Butler and her queer gender acolytes insist that sex and gender are entirely distinct. 

The unalterable reality is a transman is not a man but a woman presenting and performing as a man. The indisputable, scientifically verifiable facts are, there is a simple biological difference between a man and a transman. A man is male, a transman is female. This is simply the truth of the matter. But since when has truth become nothing? Since when have destructive lies become compulsory virtue signals? 

But ‘They’ are telling my daughter lies, and she is willing to believe them, because she is seduced and deceived. And she is of age now – as her father I should just butt out of her life; I should have no concern about truth; I should not worry for the wellbeing of my daughter; I should have no fear about what this de-femalizing ‘transgender’ adventure might mean for my now bearded daughter ten years from today. 

But here is the kicker for a parent of daughter or son suffering from the delusional belief that their naturally sexed body is wrongly sexed. If I find Butler’s gender lies the means of inflicting a terrible, body-hating and sex-mutilating abuse on my daughter, and if I want to protect my daughter from this, then I am considered to be immoral, unloving, bigoted, phobic, illegal, worthy of censure, worthy of job-loss, psychologically maladjusted, a deranged religious fanatic, a Far-Right Nazi, and simply asking for prosecution and ridicule. Further, Rainbow morality now insists that my daughter needs to be protected from me so that she can follow her trans-identity mystical insight and join the body mutilating cult of Trans. Conversion therapy – conversion away from her sex, away from her family, away from all natural biological ties and identities – is exactly what she was put through when we went to “affirming” family therapy. In that therapy – as was openly acknowledged by the therapist I was paying – there was precisely zero commitment to neutrality in the therapist; the therapist overtly sided with anti-scientific Trans ideology, overtly sided with hormonal and surgical mutilating “affirmation”, and it was my wife and I who needed psychological treatment for our mental health problem (the psychosis of mutilophobia), not our gender confused, cult-joining daughter. 

My daughter – like many young women who have believed the lie that they are transmen – is on the high functioning Autism Spectrum. She has social anxiety; she is prone to depression; she has always been prone to magical thinking. She is incredibly gifted and beautiful, but she feels a terrible misfit and blames herself as if there is something wrong with her or the world around her. ‘They’ tell her, yes, the immoral and bigoted heteronormative world around you (including your parents who bought you into the world and devotedly cared for you for 20 years) is wrong, and you are a misfit because you are Trans; come to us, join us, belong to us and you will be accepted as you really are and any person or world that rejects you can be named as evil, because it is transphobic. This morality tale solves all my daughter’s problems in one amazing swoop. She cannot resist the attraction of it. After years of secretly engaging with trans sites, she has simply been drawn in, like a moth to a flame, baited and trapped like a lobster in a cage. She has been seduced. She has been deceived. The only thing she must do to embrace trans salvation is sacrifice her female body and cut herself off from the family that insists that she is their daughter/sister, and is beautiful, as she naturally is. At the present, she is more than happy to join the Trans cult, and to consider her female life and its natural relational bonds – to use the biblical phrase – ‘as dung.’ Like the Apostle Paul disowning his pre-Christian religious piety, she rejoices that through death to the old self (the natural woman) she can obtain Trans Salvation (being reborn as a transman). 

Kathleen Stock has recently reviewed Judith Butler’s latest book Who’s Afraid of Gender? In Stock’s usual manner, this is a powerful and deeply insightful critique. But the thing that Stock said that left my guts wrenched – that made me cry out with anguish and fury as I read – was her fully accurate observation that Butler’s queer gender movement is provoking fury. Too true. If my daughter ever de-transitions nothing will stand between me and doing everything I can to wreak legal vengeance on the therapists, health system, trans propaganda bodies, Rainbow institutions, and queer academics who have mutilated my vulnerable daughter with their lies. Fury is not a strong enough word for what I feel as I watch, powerless, as this madness take my daughter from her family, from reality, and from her own beautiful female body. 

I have read the whole defamatory and inflammatory text, and Butler’s Who’s Afraid of Gender? is no scholarly and theoretically credible work; it is queer propaganda. Butler has written a scurrilous and sophisticated text that intentionally misreads the rising flood of anguish-driven fury now being directed towards queer gender ideology and its anti-heteronormative revolution against human sexuality. In Butler’s own entirely constructivist theory, there is no truth, there are only performative assertions of normative power. So – conveniently – she is asserting her impossibly false narrative as if simply telling lies makes them powerful. Butler’s speech performs a poetic narrative where only queer gender believers are good and right (even though there can be no moral realism at all in her totally constructivist and anarchic understanding of linguistically asserted power) without any need to even wonder if her baseless assertions are true. To Butler, ‘truth’ has nothing to do with anything. The truth of the physical reality of the sacrifice of naturally sexed bodies to this ideology – a sacrifice Butler herself has not performed – is of no concern to Butler. The fact that the biological family, centred in (at least in principle) secure and durable sexual bonds between a reproductive male and a reproductive female, is fundamental to the replication of the species and the first site of human formation, is of no concern to Butler. She would happily rip it all up. The impossible and yet idiotically dared idea that we can simply abandon sexual reality and ‘outgrow’ the heterosexually bonded familial context of biological reproduction is of no concern to Butler. Lies, boldly asserted, deceptively spun, and destructively ‘performed,’ are being foisted on the young and vulnerable by queer gender theorists like Butler. When will we rise up and throw this malicious sophistry off? When will we protect the likes of my daughter from this ideological plague, this body-hating cult, this denial of reality, this fabrication of supposedly moral meaning? 

With Stock, I am not afraid of what Butler calls gender. Firstly, by Butler’s own account gender is ‘no thing’ that one could be afraid of. How could one fear something that has no objective reality but is as phantasmal as an inner feeling in the queer imagination? But Butler – without any regard for the law of non-contradiction – is determined to construct queer gender as both a completely subjective, performative, and dreamed up ‘nothing’ and a nature-culture co-constructed ‘some thing.’ Academics might call this sophisticated postmodern discourse, George Orwell called it doublespeak; the intentional and lying abuse of language. Butler’s “gender” is an anti-natural and imagined anti-sex and anti-normative moralism that defies material and biological reality and treats the reproductive bonds of familial reality with contempt. And all the while, the forever passive-aggressive, ‘excluded,’ and suicidal Transactivist screams righteous vitriol at anyone who dares nay say them with sense or reason. 

Through sheer post-truth assertion and ‘moral’ indignation, Butler’s queer gender theory really does seem to have made nothing into a phantom something, like a ringwraith serving nothing but the will to power. This is an assertive will to overthrow all-natural goodness, a will to destroy the age-old natural fabric of familial human formation. Only the Gender Critical Feminists stand against this queer plague of darkness. And what fine and powerful thinkers, and deeply humane and compassionate activists they are. Janice Raymond, Kathleen Stock, Louise Perry, JK Rowling, Abigail Shrier, Debra Soh, Holly Lawford-Smith, Hannah Barnes, Helen Joyce, Jillian Spencer, Julie Szego, Sall Grover, and others. These Gender Critical Feminists are like Éowyn fighting the phantasmal Nazgûl which is a nihilism of disembodied darkness. These undaunted Gender Critical Feminists are aware of what is at stake for women should queer gender theory succeed in creating its vaunted ‘Queer Planet.’ Stock and her kind are nothing like ‘conservative’ or reactionary thinkers, but they well grasp the need for broadly respected sex-defined gender norms so that women can be respected and protected, as women. Butler’s ‘feminism’ is overtly anti-femalist (her ‘feminism’ is exactly not ‘exclusively’ for females), and by her sophistic babblings Butler promotes the destruction of real women’s needs and interests. How has it come to be that an anti-realist misogynism is called third wave ‘feminism’? 

There are real factual differences between men and woman that are sex-linked, and viable social norms without proper respect for those differences are going to harm vulnerable women. This is a natural fact. If we throw this fact under the Rainbow Fantasy bus of sexless equality, the gains women have made in protection, respect, and rights to fair and sex-specific treatment will be undone. There is a truly shocking irony that – in Australia – the 1984 Sex Discrimination Act still has its primary goal as lifting Women to the same level of privilege and opportunity as Men, even though in 2013 definitions of men as male and women as female were removed from the act. As a result, Australia now has a sex discrimination act that is blind to a person’s sex. Has the entire world gone mad with Butler’s constructivist phantasmal academic nonsense? 

Butler is intentionally misreading the growing fury against the queer rainbow movement. My own fury is not motivated by fear, it is motivated by outrage at Butler’s brazed defiance of truth, and by my horrified sense that my daughter is in grave danger, and I cannot protect her. I am incensed by Butler’s brazen exploitation of the vulnerable, and by her slimy, slippery sophism used to confuse and entrap legislators, politicians, and the young and impressionable. I am outraged at the shout-down of academic freedom in this domain and I am dismayed by Butler’s brazen gender normativity vandalism. She can ‘perform’ her speculative and impossibly universal psychoanalysis of what is really motiving every single person who rejects queer gender theory, but if her theory is true, this is just a performative assertion of spin serving her own anti-sex rage, like everything else she spews out. 

But this is war. Butler has declared war on all reality-based sex-defined gender norms, and war is what she will get. I do not concede to the truth, the goodness, the validity, the morality, the reproductive viability of a ‘Queer Planet.’ When people wake up to what the post-sex Rainbow total reform agenda really entails, then Butler will taste the fury she fears. The return of fire must commence. Butler has plagued my house, and I call a plague on Butler’s house, and I weep, and I pine for my daughter.

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